


Guaglione

by Smapdi



Category: The Mindy Project
Genre: F/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 19:03:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1754747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smapdi/pseuds/Smapdi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mindy drags an unwilling Danny on a shopping trip and finds him hard to resist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guaglione

Danny runs his palm over his face, through his hair and across the back of his neck. It's not up for discussion, but god, he doesn't want to deal with this, on his first day off in almost two weeks, thanks to a wretchedly fabulous blackout that occurred nine months prior. He's been delivering baby after baby - hell, the whole office has, since that Times article on the mobile clinic came out. The practice is now hip and trendy. His nightmare come to life. 

So today, all he wants to do is relax, watch football, and drink beer, like a man is supposed to do on a Sunday. Maybe his woman will make him a sandwich. Probably, he'll make her one. 

But no, she wants to go shopping. 

"It's not a big deal, Danny. We run in, pick up a couple of outfits and you can still come home with plenty of time to scratch your balls in front of the tv." Mindy was sitting on the couch beside him, her bare feet tucked under her.

Oh god. Outfits. She said outfits. 

"I don't need any new clothes, Min. I pack light, a pair of jeans, a sweater for when it cools down at night."

"It's the Hamptons, Danny. You know what that's like, you can't just wear jeans." She's got magazines in her hand, flapping them like she's trying to ward off evil spirits. "I buy you GQ, and you never even read it."

"That magazine is for women." He scoffs. 

"It's for men! Menswear and grooming and barely dressed women..."

"It's for women to read and try to figure out what men want. Men don't read men's magazines. We might look at them..." He grins, miming a Playboy centerfold. 

"Okay, okay. Fine, don't read it. But you're still going to to have to dress nice at this thing, so we're going shopping." Mindy hops up and slips on her sandals, grabbing her bag and twirling around so her short little sundress flares out before settling back down to her thighs. Danny can't help but smile. 

She drags him to a store that is so far out of his element, he might as well be a space alien. He can smell how expensive the clothes are, and if it was possible for a wallet to feel pain, it would be screaming. 

"Twelve. Hundred. Dollars. Mindy, this is just a jacket! A suit, maybe I could see..." Danny backs away from the display as if just being near it would cost him money. 

"Danny. I need to tell you something." Mindy leans into him, an arm around his neck, her breasts soft and unrestrained against his chest. She knows his weaknesses. "You have a lot of money." She whispers. 

Danny chuckles and pushes her off gently. She already flitting around the store, feeling fabrics and comparing colors to her skin tone. He's her favorite accessory. A slim hipped young fellow with a manicure helps her as Danny stands awkwardly to the side, his hands jammed in the front pockets of his jeans. The two are squealing over something salmon colored and he suppresses a shudder. There's nothing in this store he would buy if he didn't love her so much. 

Finally, a few selections are made, so Danny is escorted to the dressing area with a row of locked booths in the back, and Mindy sits at a sleek table right beside a mirrored stage. He feels like there should be a pole. 

"Do I have to come out if it's an 'outfit' I wouldn't be caught dead in?" He calls to her.

"You know the answer, so why do you even ask?"

He emerges stiffly, his discomfort in the ensemble palpable. Mindy is sipping champagne - she has a glass for him, but she'll drink it too - and she gasps theatrically. 

"Danny! You look like a model!" 

He blushes, which she finds endearing. 

"You think? I feel like some kid playing dress up as a sailor." He gestures to the jeans he is wearing, which are significantly tighter, and whiter, than any he's ever worn. "And this is..." He leans closer to Mindy, not wanting anyone to overhear. "It's kind of obscene."

"Nonsense!" Mindy smooths her hands over the double breasted ecru jacket. "You look so hot, Danny. Doesn't he look hot, Stephen?" 

The salesman glides in who more champagne. "Please!" He grins at Danny.

"He gets paid to say that." Danny tugs at the neck of his sweater, feeling too warm in the confined space. 

"I do not get paid to lie, sweetie. There's not enough money in the world for me to let you leave if you are not cute." He winks at Mindy and leaves. 

She pulls him to the mirrored area so he can see himself in a 360 view. It doesn't improve his opinion - he pulls faces and makes awkward hand gestures. 

"Whatever, you're buying it." Mindy sips another glass and gestures him back to the dressing room. He looks relieved. At least this ordeal is over. 

"Try on the blue jacket next, with the checked shirt."

He stops mid-disrobing. "What? I've gotta try on more?" He whines, instantly triggering an image in Mindy's head of Danny as a child, being forced by his mother to shop for big-boy clothes. Her laughter is not contagious. 

"Danny, we're going to be there for four days, you can't wear the same thing all weekend!"

He rests his head against the mirrored wall of the cubicle and stares at the fluorescent light. He should have worn sunglasses. "Can't I just bring this and some jeans for the rest?" He knows there's no point in arguing, she will get her way, and yet... he still tries. When there's no response but a snort, he puts on the next set of garments. 

"Okay, how's this one?" Danny exits the dressing room and goes right to the staging area. The faster he complies, the more beers he will be able to drink. 

Mindy is again entranced. "Oh god, turn around. Your butt looks so good in those pants, Danny. Let me get Stephen..."

"No, it's okay, he doesn't need to comment on my butt." 

"Danny, it's mean to deprive him. He works in retail, he deserves a treat!" She's giggling and flapping her sundress with her hands, all flirty and coy, and he almost gives in. 

"I assume that means we're buying this one too?" Danny hasn't looked at the price tags yet. He taps his foot too and fro, in time to the jazzy music that's piped into the place, and then waggles his shoulders a little. 

Mindy gives him an eyebrow. He grins at her, suddenly hit with the realization that he must have done something awfully right to have this woman in his life, when the worst thing about his Sunday is spending time in a pretentious store with her. He grabs her hand and pulls her up on the little stage, spinning her so she squeals. 

"Danny, you're a nut." She kisses him and hops down. "My crazy little supermodel." The affection in her voice boosts him even higher. He tries to pose, moving around goofily, doing a little soft shoe, then some jerky things with his head and hands. 

She lifts a lip like she smells something bad, and he stops. "What? I'm doing what models do."

"Not human ones, Danny." She yanks him off the stage and pushes him back in the dressing room. "I'm going to look for one more."

He's still laughing when she returns and walks in with some shirts. "Danny, I found these..."

Mindy's voice trails off as she looks at him, clad in just his smokey gray boxer briefs. "Fuck." 

Danny reaches for the shirts, but she just turns and locks the dressing room door. She has a predatory smile on her face when she turns back and before he can speak, she's kissing him.

"Mindy... what are you doing..." Her hands are everywhere, roaming his chest, squeezing his ass, combing through his hair. She's kissing his neck and jaw, sometimes nipping, sometimes licking, and he wants her to stop but can't seem to force those words out of his throat. 

Finally he grasps her wrists and pushes her back. "Come on, you're gonna get me so worked up, I won't be able to try on the shirts..." 

Mindy laughs low in her throat and flips her hands from his grasp, turning the tables and grabbing his, pushing him against the wall with a grunt and pinning his arms to the wall. She kisses him again, deep and slow, and grinds her hips very languidly against his. "Be quiet." She murmurs before releasing his arms and sinking to her knees. 

"This isn't a good idea..." He mutters as she slips her hand into his shorts, pushing them down just enough to free him and then it's suddenly the best idea ever. She takes him in her mouth and he can't think. She's looking up at him, mostly holding him but using her lips and tongue to bring him from half to full attention, and he forgets they're in a public place with thin walls and groans loudly. 

"I said be quiet!" She hisses as she pulls him wetly from her lips. 

He looks down, eyes lidded. "I thought you meant not to talk."

"Yeah, because talking is what will get us arrested. Now keep it down, unless you want to become a registered sex offender!" Mindy stands back up to kiss him again and his hands slip under her dress. He flips her so her back is against the wall and he pushes her damp panties aside. 

Now she's the one moaning. Danny quiets her with his mouth and eases himself between her legs, pulling one hip up for access, using his other hand to position himself for entry, and then he's pushing into her. 

Except it's not working. 

Sure, sex against the wall looks easy in the movies, buts she's wearing flats so their hips aren't aligned, as even without his "orthotics" he's still taller and longer legged than she. He can only pull her against him and tilt her pelvis, but his thrusts are shallow and she keeps slipping. 

"Dammit, Danny, pick me up or something!" She growls through gritted teeth, and he tries, but when his hands are full of Mindy's ass, neither of them have any purchase, and she hits the wall with a heavy thump. 

"Everything okay in there?" Stephen's voice is lilting and despicable. Danny drops her and she barely lands on her feet, grunting as she bangs into the little seat. "Fine, we're... I'm fine, just finishing up!" He yells, louder than needed. 

Mindy pinches him and whispers. "I'm barely started, you bastard!"

"Shhh!" Danny looks panicky, his shorts snapping back up over his balls and pinching him. "Owww!"

A glance to her left and Mindy has a solution. She rolls sideways till she's facing the mirrored back of the room and plants her hands against the reflective glass. "Hurry!" She moans with a hip tilt and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out her plan. 

Danny flips up her skirt and plants a hand on her ass. She pushes back against him, bending and looking back over her shoulder. "Fuck me. Now."

You don't have to ask him twice. He pulls the sodden cotton away from her pussy and thrusts into her, suppressing a moan. She's impatient and they have to hurry but he has to measure his strokes in this position, because more than once he has failed to take note of her sensitive cervix and been on the receiving end of a lecture. They don't have time for that right now. 

So he's gallantly pumping away, one hand on her hip, the other slipped around into the front of her panties, and they're watching each other in the mirror. It's fucking fantastic. She's making the tiniest little whimper noises in time with each thrust and Danny's biting down on her shoulder to muffle his grunts. He thinks Mindy might be getting off on her own reflection more than his fingers, but whatever works. 

Then she's shuddering and clenching around his cock so hard he sees stars, and he can't control the guttural noise that he makes as the sensations overwhelm him. He's coming hard and deep, and he hopes she's been remembering her pill because he thinks this is baby making sex. Not that he'd mind, really. 

They're panting and gasping and gazing at each other in the mirror when a loud knocking at the door jars them out of their reverie. "Hello!? Do I need to call security?" A woman's voice rings out and oh shit, they weren't as subtle as they thought. 

He slips out of her and flips her skirt back down over her ass before tucking himself back in his shorts and grabbing his jeans. Mindy boldly opens the door and the manager is standing there incensed, her close cropped gray hair matching her eyes. "Excuse me?" The woman takes a step back. Mindy has great big steel ones and continues. "I'm helping someone spend a ridiculous amount of money, here. How dare you accuse us of shoplifting?" 

The manager's mouth falls open. It's so very, very obvious that wasn't what she was thinking at all, but now she's apologizing and taking the armful of clothing from Mindy to ring up, and Mindy just grins like a boss. Nobody mentions Mindy's funny walk as she presses her thighs together, the evidence of their adventure about to run down her thigh, and aren't you a dear, Stephen, for letting me use the employee restroom before my bladder bursts. 

She's a keeper. 

The manager is still giving them the stink eye, even as Danny hands over his American Express card and signs away a few thousand bucks. "You're welcome to return anytime, Dr. Castellano. By yourself." She gives Mindy a tight lipped smile.

"If I hadn't been with him, he never would have come!" Mindy retorts triumphantly. 

"Phrasing." Danny mutters, red faced. 

Stephen grabs her arm as they head to the exit. "Girl, I couldn't have resisted either!" He whispers with a wink, which Mindy returns. She doesn't expect they'll be hurrying back, especially after Danny gets the bill in the mail. But for now, she has her arm candy ready to doll up for a well deserved mini-vacation. She figures he deserves at least one more reward for his willingness today...

As long as he doesn't do those ridiculous hand movements in public.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the original song featured in the Spencer Heyfron GQ video, which was the inspiration for this little smutfest.


End file.
